1 Timothy 6:17-19, “Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be high-minded or to set their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things for enjoyment: to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”

People like us: Different gifts, same decision

The message in this passage begins with the rich person’s backstory. It then moves to “us”. God has richly supplied each of us, just in different ways. What are we supposed to do with this rich supply? We’re supposed to enjoy it. How? We enjoy it by using it

“to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share” (1 Timothy 6:18).

We all, together, share from whatever God has richly blessed us with. We all use it to do good. We all share generously. Yes, we each receive different things. But the choice of what to do with them is the same.

This idea appears elsewhere in scripture. Peter writes,

“As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the multifaceted grace of God.” (1 Peter 4:10).

Paul writes,

“However, since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to use them properly: if prophecy, in proportion to one’s faith; if service, in the act of serving; or the one who teaches, in the act of teaching; or the one who exhorts, in the work of exhortation; the one who gives, with generosity; the one who is in leadership, with diligence; the one who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:6-8).

God richly supplies us. He supplies us with each and every thing. The challenge from this passage applies to every gift from God – not just wealth.

Consider those who have been given the gift of teaching. What should they do with it? They could bury it in the ground. Fear could cause them to keep it hidden. But hiding it won’t allow it to grow. (It might even rust, fade, or begin to disappear.)

Instead, they could choose to enjoy it. How? By putting it to work. They could use their gift of teaching to do good. They could use it to become rich in visible good works. They could become a good sharer of their gift of teaching. They could share it with the fellowship community.

In Jesus’s parable, the wise servant immediately put his talent to work. And by doing so, he ends up with even more. By putting the talent to work, the talent grows. Plus, he gets much, much more when the master returns. The one with the gift of teaching could do the same. By putting the gift to work, the gift grows.

In our passage, the rich person faces a similar challenge:

“You have temporary wealth. What will you do with it? Will you bury it and die with it? Or will you enjoy it by putting it to work doing good?”

The rich person is challenged. But the rich person isn’t alone. Each of us faces this same choice. Each of us has been richly supplied, just with different things. But the choice is the same. Fear says,

“Hide your gift.”

Scripture says,

“Enjoy your gift by putting it to work.”

People like us: The social norm

Effective fundraising encourages generosity. It leads to giving. Many messages can encourage giving. The most powerful is often the social norm. The effective social norm causes a person to think,

“People like us enjoy doing things like this!”

In fundraising, it causes the donor to think,

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this!”

In this passage, what is the social norm? It is to share abundantly or generously. The challenge is the same for all of us. The same social norm applies regardless of how God has richly blessed us.

How can we set this social norm of sharing generously? How can we show donors that it is true? We can do it by sharing examples. We share examples of others who are like the donor. We share examples of what people like “us” do. These examples create a social norm.

We can use this same approach in modern fundraising.

Social norms in asset-giving requests: Modern and ancient

Fundraising can be scary. Talking to other people about giving their money can be scary. What’s worse? Talking about giving their wealth. Talking about gifts of assets – houses, land, and business interests – can be really scary.

Can it get worse? Yes. Talking to people about their death is worse. Put all three together, and we have planned or legacy giving. This is talking to people about (1) giving, (2) their assets or wealth, (3) at their death.

So, how do we do this? How do we talk about gifts of assets? How do we talk about estate gifts? It’s simple. We talk about other people’s gifts. We talk about other people like the donor who have done these kinds of things before. We share stories that show the donor that

“People like us enjoy doing things like this.”

Does this work? Yes. We can see it in experimental research. One study worked with a large law firm. It randomly assigned 3,000 estate-planning clients to one of three groups:

One short phrase made a massive difference. Asking helped. Mentioning others’ generosity helped even more. It led to a sixfold increase in giving.

What about real-world fundraising practice? How do the most effective fundraisers ask for a gift in a will? They do the same thing. They point to other people like the donor who have made these gifts.

What does this sound like? It can sound like this:

Notice precisely what these successful fundraisers do. Two things precede the ask. First is the donor’s philanthropic history. They are generous people. Second is what others, like the donor, have done before. People like them have done things like this. The gift matches their life history, their values, and their people.

What model does Paul give to Timothy? It’s the same model:

Paul’s approach works. It matches what the most effective fundraisers do. It shows donors how their people, values, and life history compel their giving.

With asset gifts, we might say,

“Many donors giving at your level like to give assets rather than cash. That’s because giving stocks, real estate, or other investments creates a double tax benefit. It’s a smarter way to give. Have you ever considered giving something other than cash?”

For other gifts, we can point to other examples. We can mention others like the donor who

Whatever the focus of the current campaign, we can use examples of others’ gifts. We can use these examples to communicate that

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this.”

Social norms in asset-giving stories: Ancient

Paul begins his fundraising appeal with a donor story. (2 Corinthians 8:1-5). He sets a social norm of giving joyfully and generously. That’s great. But what if we want to encourage gifts of assets? How can we do that?

We do it the same way. We share donor stories. We share stories about gifts of assets. This is nothing new. We see it in New Testament donor stories.

Barnabas made a gift of real estate.164 Mary of Bethany’s asset gift of pure nard was worth a year’s wages.165 The early church shared generously. But what did they share? The Book of Acts uses five different words to describe the different types of wealth, possessions, property, land, and houses that were shared.166

These aren’t just donor stories. These are asset-sharing stories. These are wealth-sharing stories.

Social norms in asset-giving stories: Modern

We can follow the examples from the Bible. We can share donor stories. We can share donor stories about gifts of wealth. We can share donor stories about gifts of assets. We can share examples that set a social norm. We can build a social norm that

“People like us enjoy making gifts of assets.”

But maybe you feel like you can’t. Maybe you feel like you don’t have any inspirational stories. Maybe you haven’t worked with any such wealthy donors. Or maybe you don’t have permission to share their stories.

That’s OK. These don’t have to be your donors. There are donor stories everywhere! There are donor stories in the Bible. There are donor stories online.167 There are donor stories in history. We can share all of these stories. And they work.

Claire Guadiana had massive success in fundraising. As president of Connecticut College, she more than quadrupled the college’s endowment. She did it with inspiring donor stories. She got these stories from American History. She recommends,

“Show how the vision of a major donor can transform an institution (Mary Garrett at Johns Hopkins) or an entire city (Ken Dayton in Minneapolis).”168

She used these inspirational donor stories from history. But the key was not just the story. The key was her introduction to the story. She began them with a phrase like,

“You know, you remind me of [insert historical philanthropist’s name].”

The donor would respond with,

“Who is that?”

She would then share the story. She shared the story of a donor whose gifts had made a major impact.169

This was an aspirational example. But because of her introduction, this wasn’t just an example. For the donor, it was an example of someone “like me.”170

We can also share such historical stories. We can share historical examples of donors to Christian causes. (Books like John Rinehart’s Gospel Patrons provide many great examples.)

In my fundraising trainings, I often talk about gifts in wills. There are many effective ways to ask for a gift in a will. But for some people, it’s just too scary. For them, I suggest the softest, simplest, easiest approach. I like to call it the “4-S” method. That’s three Stories and Shut up.171

What does this sound like? Suppose I was meeting with a university alumnus. At some point, I’ll give an update on the university. I might mention a new coach. (Story 1). Then, I might mention a new building. (Story 2). Then, I might say,

“Oh, and Jon Smith did a neat thing. Did you know Jon? He graduated two years before you. No? Well, Jon spent his career helping other people get their finances in order. And he recently signed a new will that one day will endow a permanent scholarship for our financial planning students!”

And then, I take a drink. Silence. I wait for a response.

If the donor wants to discuss estate giving, he can do so. And that’s great. If not, he’ll mention something about the other two stories. And that’s fine, too. Either way, I’ve done something powerful. I’ve shared a donor story. I’ve shared an estate-giving story. I’ve shared a story about someone like the donor.172 I’ve helped the donor to feel that

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this.”

Social norms in joyful giving stories: Ancient and modern

In 2 Corinthians 8:1-5, Paul starts his fundraising appeal with a donor story. He gives an example of the Macedonians giving. His example is aspirational. It’s an example of massively generous giving. They gave “beyond their ability.” His example is also joyful. Far from a grudging gift,

“They begged us again and again for the privilege of sharing in the gift for the believers in Jerusalem.” (2 Corinthians 8:4 NLT).

Paul’s example sets a norm of giving much. It also sets a norm of giving joyfully. This, too, matches modern experimental research. It’s not enough to say what others do. It’s important to say that they like to do it.

In the previous experiment, one phrase more than tripled charitable gifts in wills. The phrase was,

“Many of our customers like to leave money to charity in their will …” (Emphasis added.)

This “like to” part matters. In another experiment, I also asked about gifts in wills. The first finding wasn’t a surprise. Interest went up dramatically if the question started with

“Many people like to leave a gift to charity in their will because they want to continue to support causes that are important in their lives.”173

The social norm increased interest. That’s no surprise.

But the next result was a surprise. Removing “like to” from this phrase erased its positive effect. It wasn’t enough that others make these gifts. It’s important that they “like to” make these gifts.

Both parts of Paul’s donor story are important. It’s not enough to say that they gave generously. They need to have enjoyed doing it!

Problems with social norm stories: Are these people like you?

Donor stories work. If. Donor stories work if they connect with the listener’s identity. It’s not enough to have an example. The donor must feel that the example is like them. The message is not simply

“Other people make gifts like this.”

The message is

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this.”

The example must connect with the donor’s identity. It must be, in some meaningful way, like them.

In one experiment, people read about a complex charitable gift.174 Some read about what they could do. This started with,

“You make a gift and …”

Others got identical information as a donor story. This started,

“Sara made a gift and …”

Those who read about Sara were more willing to make the gift. The example of another donor was more influential. The donor story worked. But.

But this effect could disappear. In some cases, the story also included a picture of Sara. Sometimes, Sara was pictured as an older person. Sometimes, she was middle-aged. Sometimes, she was much younger. If the picture was close in age to the reader, the story worked better. Gift intentions increased more than with the text alone. If the picture wasn’t age matched, the story didn’t work. Gift intentions decreased.

This result was not just about age matching. Statistically, interest in the gift was predicted by one question:

“How much do you identify with Sara? She is [__ a lot __somewhat __a little bit __not really __not at all] like me.”

It wasn’t enough to give an example. It had to be an example that the donor felt was like them. It’s not enough that other people make these gifts. These need to be people like us.

Another experiment found a similar result. It used a pledge drive for a public radio station.175 New members calling in were told,

“We had another member; he [/she] contributed $240.”

This $240 example was larger than the typical gift.

The experiment was this. The reference to “he” or “she” alternated randomly. If it matched the caller’s gender, gifts averaged a third larger than when it did not.

Again, it wasn’t just about having an example from another person. It was about having an example that the donor felt was like them. It’s not enough that other people make these gifts. These need to be people like us.

Another experiment found a similar result with gifts in wills. Stories of living donors worked better than identical stories of deceased donors.176 Living donor examples are more like the living donor audience.

All of these results tell the same story. A female example is more like a female donor. It works better than a male example for that donor. A younger-person example is more like a younger donor. It works better than an older-person example for that donor. A living-person example is more like the living donor. It works better than a deceased-person example.

It’s not enough just to have an example of another person. To work, it must be an example of someone like the donor. The example must connect with the donor’s identity. It must show that

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this.”

People like us: Who inspired you?

We can use examples of others to inspire the donor’s generosity. So, what’s the most compelling example for our donor? We don’t have to guess. We can just ask.

The best fundraisers often do this. For example, they may ask,

This fundraising begins with the donor’s identity. It begins with their people, values, and life history. It shows how these motivate the donor’s generosity. In fact, it does something even better. It gets the donor to tell this story. It gets the donor to make the case for their own generous giving.

This is “us”: Building up the modern donor community

We don’t want donors to feel alone in their giving decision. We want them to feel part of a community. It’s a community that has made that same decision to give. We want them to feel part of a donor community.

There are many ways to build this sense of a donor community. We can share donor stories. We can share stories in person, in print, and online. We can share stories of others who are like the donor.

We can host campaign dinners. There, others can describe what motivated their own commitments. We can, like Paul, stir up generosity by comparing groups. Schools often publish alumni giving participation rates from different classes. Churches can publish these for different small groups.182

We can share inspirational stories of lower-wealth donors. We can share aspirational stories of higher-wealth donors.183 We can mention motivational lead gifts that set the standard for others.

Building a donor community helps inspire sharing. It can also help to recruit new donors. When Naomi Levine joined NYU, it was near bankruptcy. It raised only about $20 million per year. Under her leadership, NYU completed the nation’s first billion-dollar fundraising campaign.184 How did she grow such a large donor base from such a low starting point?

Her process began by meeting with a prospect, usually at breakfast. But here was the key. The fundraiser almost never went alone. Levine explains,

“if a person was in real estate, we would discuss what real estate person should meet with him. If he was in insurance or finance, we would think of people who we felt were his peers and someone that he would respect. During the twenty years that Larry Tisch [billionaire owner of CBS television] was chairman, he joined most of those meetings.” 185

From the very beginning, the prospect was surrounded by other donors. These donors were already in the prospect’s social or business world. She also brought along a famous person who supported the cause.

This is “us”: Building up the ancient donor community

Paul wrote a fundraising appeal letter to the Corinthians. But he didn’t just write a letter. He sent a fundraiser. He writes,

“So we have urged Titus, who encouraged your giving in the first place, to return to you and encourage you to finish this ministry of giving.” (2 Corinthians 8:6 NLT).

And did Paul send the fundraiser by himself? No. He sent someone famous with him. Paul writes,

“We have sent along with him the brother whose fame in the things of the gospel has spread through all the churches;” (2 Corinthians 8:18).

Building donor community continued throughout Paul’s ongoing fundraising process. He responds to the Philippians gift with a compelling thank you note. But he didn’t just write a letter. He also sent Timothy.

And did Paul send Timothy alone? No. He also sent someone well known to the donors. He sent Epaphroditus. Epaphroditus had worked in the ministry with Paul. Epaphroditus was a member of their congregation. He was one of them.

Paul liked to send the fundraiser along with a well-known peer or a famous person. This worked in ancient fundraising. It works in modern fundraising, too.

Join “us”: Inviting prospects into the modern donor community

In Naomi Levine’s fundraising process, inviting someone into the donor community started with the first meeting. This meeting included a supporter from the donor’s own social or business community. It also included a famous donor.

That meeting had a goal. The goal was not to get a gift. The goal was to start a relationship. How? The first step was to uncover the prospect’s connections or interests with different university programs.

The next step was to schedule a campus visit. At this campus visit, the prospect would

Take a tour.

Have lunch with the president.

Visit with faculty in areas of interest.

The next step was to involve the prospect in their areas of interest. Levine explains,

“If there was going to be a concert or film festival at the Tisch School of the Arts, we would invite them to that. If there was a seminar at the Law School, we would invite them to that. If we had an advisory committee on filmmaking, we would, if appropriate, invite them to sit on that committee.”

This process invited prospects into a fellow-donor community. It socially connected them with a particular area of interest. Eventually, it would lead to a request. That request would connect with the donor’s specific interests and involvement. But the process didn’t start there. It started with the donor community. It started by showing that

Conclusion: People like us enjoy making gifts like this

The message in this passage inspires generosity. It begins with the wealthy person’s backstory. It begins with

It begins with their identity.

It then moves to “us.” It moves to the donor community. Sharing generously is what we all do. We all, together, share from what God has richly blessed us with. This uses the powerful social norm of generous fellow-donors.

We can deliver this same message. We can make statements. We can share stories. We can ask questions. We can build donor communities.

However we do it, the message is always the same. It’s one of the most powerful messages in all of major gift fundraising. That message is this:

“People like us enjoy making gifts like this.”